Couple / fiction centrée sur : Marcus Flavius Aquila, Esca MacCunoval
Auteur : Demon rum
Genre(s) : Humour (crack) et OOC qui en découle, choc des cultures et leçons de langues, vulgarité et obscénités.
Avertissement : l’anglais dans les dialogues est souvent grammaticalement déplorable et c’est voulu !
Rating : M
État : one-shot (env. 8.000 mots)
Connaissance du fandom : Inutile à Conseillée
Particularité : écrit pour le « Eagle Reverse Big Bang » et inspiré d’une scène du film La vie de Brian des Monty Python
Résumé : Marcus speaks British badly; Esca’s Latin is even worse. Luckily this has never caused them any problems before. Now, however, grammatically incorrect and highly seditious graffiti has sprung up all over the town of Calleva, and Marcus has just 10 days to teach Esca Latin before the Tribune Placidus comes investigating…
Avis : En lisant cette fic, je n’ai pas pu m’empêcher de repenser à mes deux années de latin au bout desquelles je ne savais toujours pas décliner le moindre mot… le latin, cette langue obscure ! ^^;
La fic est drôle, a un rythme très dynamique et possède même un côté mignon avec Marcus qui se donne bien du mal pour protéger son esclave/tagueur de monument ! Une fic décalée à souhait.
“Finish this verb, now. Present tense. Amo, amas, amat…”
“ … amatabula, amaverpa, amavissississimus.”
“Esca! Those aren’t even words. Also one of them’s very crude sounding – you ought to be a bit more respectful. Again: amo, amas, amat …”
Esca promptly finished in British: “we all love, you all love, they all love. There, verb done. Let’s go see if we can catch a couple of trout for Sassticca.”
“No! Do it in Latin!” Marcus resisted the urge to stomp his feet like a child.
“I don’t know it in Latin! And why should I, Roman? You people took so much – now you want to torment my every breath with your stupid language as well?”
The centurion pulled rank. He hated to do it, but Esca didn’t know exactly how much was at stake. “Because. Because I am your master and I said so, that’s why. Now do it.”
It hurt a little to see Esca pull himself up short; It’s all for the greater good, he reasoned with himself. It had better be.
His slave’s next words (in Latin – success!) were slow, clumsy, and furious. “I am not knowing – whence are you wanting of me? Whence is caring about it? Whence am I learning this words? ”
“Why are you learning these words, you mean?” (Esca apparently used ‘whence’ as an all-purpose word to begin any question, no matter what he was asking.)
“Because Latin is important. Because we Romans speak Latin, and because despite the popular stereotype that we bring nothing but slavery and taxes and, uh, cultural assimilation … anyway, speaking Latin will help you take advantage of the many positive benefits of being part of the Roman Empire.”
The Briton laughed at Marcus’ speech. It was not a good laugh. “And whence have you Romanes ever doing for us?”
“Apart from sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, and irrigation? What about roads? The fresh water system? Public health?”
“San-i-ta-tion! Ha!” Esca spat out the unfamiliar word as if it were a piece of meat gone bad.
“Sewers are crucial to public health!” The centurion could not believe he was losing this argument. He shouldn’t have even been having it. A firmer master would have knocked his slave down by now, but Marcus didn’t dare – and not just because he didn’t like violence towards subordinates. There was a distinct possibility that Esca would hit back.
À ma connaissance, il n’existe pas de traduction française de ce texte.
(Si vous aimez cette fic, plutôt que de le dire ici, dites-le à l’auteur !)